How to effectively punish a masochist
|tsg is a masochist, no doubt about it. she likes when pain is followed by pleasure, whether physical stimulation or the pleasure from praise. Pain without either is, well, just pain. Something to be avoided. Pain with no hope of physical release combined with a thorough chewing out/chastisement is truly punishingly painful. A teaching pain. A learning pain. A pain to be avoided at all costs.With a spanking or flogging, the pain eases almost immediately after contact. Certainly the next blow in the same place will hurt more, but its not all that much a lingering pain. A masochist can push through it, can even find the place where the last spank has been given, before it actually has (subspace). All because knowing that as soon as it’s over, it’s over. For punishment to truly effect a masochist, the mind and the heart must be involved.
Severe, heart felt chastisement is a very powerful thing, even in absence of physical punishment. A Master can make you mentally torture yourself by announcing His displeasure and what He intends to do about it as far in advance as possible. Having little to do but think about how wretched one is, how one screwed up, and how one is going to be in serious hurt, for hours and hours on end, is really horrible and effective. But that’s nothing compared to dwelling endlessly on how you’ve (once again) disappointed Him.
tsg very recently went through just such a scenario. She thoughtlessly screwed up, big time. Master called her out on it the moment He knew; made plans to travel a good distance the next day to deal with her in person (!); and for basically the next 26 hours kept reminding her of her screw up, how that screw up affected the relationship ; and what He planned to do about it (!!!). tsg knew punishment was coming, no getting out of it, but she was so overcome with sadness and guilt, and irrational fear (more on fear in another post to come) that she could do nothing but beg forgiveness. It was refused, until after the physical punishment and in-person lecture. That hurt, a lot, and fed the fear.
tsg stayed up, keeping busy with housework, trying to settle her mind, until she simply could not stay up any longer. Sleep came, but it wasn’t peaceful. she had the very first bad dream about Master, and thats when she started feeling sick.* Then all through the next day, waiting for her Master and punishment to arrive, she tried to keep busy, tried to put it all out of her mind, but it just wouldn’t work. Any moment she wasn’t forcefully focusing on the task at hand, her mind wandered into dark places and horrible possibilities, and she very nearly threw up several times. At one point, she ran out of things to do, and decided to work on slave positions. Except, she couldn’t make herself kneel! she refused! she actually had a pissy little hissy fit, a tantrum, saying “I won’t, I won’t, I won’t do it!” Quite ridiculous, from an outsiders perspective, for sure. But she couldn’t walk away from it, either. she was on a path of her own choosing, but she was hitting a wall that stood between her and her embracing obedience. tsg finally went into her room, fell to her knees, and started praying, with sobs and tears and an examination of that fear (which she promises she will get to in another post). When she was done, she was better… not great, not good, but better enough to kneel properly and get her mind into the right space. Still sick, still scared, still sad and guilty, but finally ready. And she knew she would never have gotten there without this prolonged mental/emotional torture. So as much as she had hated it, all the previous night and all this day, she was thankful for it. she knew she would be compliant and cooperative; humble, humbled, and humiliated; punished, corrected, and if all those things pleased Master, forgiven.
tsg had made the deliberate decision to cooperate as much as she could during the punishment. she knew she deserved it, she knew she had earned it (Master’s words, which somehow made it worse). Struggling, fighting against it, trying to talk her way out of it, trying to protect herself, tensing up and resisting it all just seemed like another form of disobedience to tsg, so she determined to not do any of that. Well, that just boils down to acceptance and surrender, doesn’t it?
And that’s what happened, after endless hours of self struggle, tsg accepted and surrendered. And that would be the point of punishing anyone, wouldn’t it, even a masochist?
* not exactly true. tsg actually started to feel sick hours earlier when Master told her He was hesitant now to collar her, mentioned in the fear thread. This hurt her so bad, she basically blocked it out until writing the fear blog brought it back up.