Oh, you can’t always get what you want…But if you try sometimes you just might find…You get what you need
Well, tsg asked for it. Literally. “Daddy, Your girl thinks it would be really fun if You controlled her orgasms, You know, just in play. Really fun!” And so now, with, um, just under TWO DAYS to go before tsg sees Him, He has told her to keep watching porn/erotica and no cumming for the rest of today and all of tomorrow. Hmmmm, wonder if she gets to get off on Monday on her own? Probably not, but no word on that front yet Oh yes, and this edict came right after tsg looked at some really nice Twitter porn/erotica photos and about lost it just looking at a pussy hook (and thinking about having that at the same time as an anal hook…oh my goodness). Which she of course mentioned to Master… which is when He got her under His control in this new way. So no cumming, and tsg has to keep looking at porn. And blog about it
More to cum come…
Hmmmm, wonder if she gets to get off on Monday on her own? Probably not, but no word on that front yet
That would be a “no”. No cumming until tsg is worshipping Master. And tsg has NO IDEA when that will be, just that it will be sometime Monday. Hopefully before midnight.
More to cum come…
Well, that was unexpected.
First Master gets tsg all hot and bothered,suggesting things she might do to Him, then tells her cumming in her sleep will get her punished, too, so she better stop herself in her sleep! This poses a wee bit of a problem… tsg has no idea how to stop such a thing, and if it happens, she will most certainly rat herself out. she’s so worked up now she’s having trouble sitting Legs together, bad… Touching self, very bad. Legs keep coming together, pressing that ache, that throbbing… and that’s not helping. Legs apart, girlie.
That wasn’t the unexpected part. Strictness and no excuses is just part of who He is. And tsg loves that.
The unexpected part was the lesson. tsg should know by now to be looking for one in just about everything, but no, she is content to just “play”. Ha! When asked if she knew what lesson she was learning, she had no idea… then a thought came to her, about how He owns all of her, even her orgasms… and that was true, but what He wanted her to see was that He owned her cravings, the very cravings that made those O’s possible. And its totally true. Sex was at best superficial until Master. tsg wanted it to be more, to connect on a spiritual level, but it just never was. Something like that will not just happen because one wants it to. It MUST be with the right person. And He is my right person. tsg’s life is so much richer, in every way, since meeting Master and becoming His slave. In a way, tsg has been His, always. she has always had a Master out there, waiting for her, her whole life. And Master has had a slave waiting for Him since before she was born (Jeremiah 1:4-5). We complete each other, in a very real way.The more tsg submits and turns herself over, to her very last bit, the more tightly bonded we become. It’s almost more than she can bear understanding.Almost too much joy.
More to cum come…
No touching of “CUNT OR ASS OR TITS.” tsg now finds herself in the position of begging to wash and shave herself. Ok…
Watched enough porn to get porned out. Really tired. Master told tsg good night, and sweet dreams. And laughed. Sadist! tsg does so love Him
Almost scared to go to sleep. Of course tsg does not want to be punished for cumming in her sleep. But what is she to do about it?
More to cum come…
Morning! Made it through the night, not sure how. Now just another 24 hours and who knows how much more.
Plan of the day is to keep busy, although tsg believes she is required to watch porn through out the day, just to keep her motor running (as if it needed any help at this point) Guess she’ll continue on as she was doing before this all started… an hour of housework then play for awhile on line. Happy day to tsg…
Today has just not been fun. Woke up being happy that tsg hadn’t cum in her sleep, quickly developed a massive headache, quite accidently found relief for the headache in crying to love songs (corny), got laid into for finding relief of any kind for any thing while being trained (not tsg’s prerogative, fault to tsg), spent a great deal of time either fiddling with the bathroom sink or just sitting in front of the pc sadly watching porn…finding oneself sad and f-ing horny at the same time is another mind-f. Went back to bed several times just trying to cope. Dreamt tsg said something really defiant to Master’s face… ugh woke up quickly from that, had just enough time to see a look of disbelief followed by a slight smirk before tsg blessedly yanked herself out of that mess. Dreamworld tsg is in for a world of pain.
Some IMs to tell this story. Gaps in time are mostly due to tsg sitting starring at PC, mind spinning, wondering if she can even find the words to respond properly:
Started making a playlist on YouTube… Started with miss Carly and just let the suggested vids lead me around. Lots of great stuff tsg hasn’t heard in years. Several made her seriously cry… Which felt amazingly good. Feel much better now. Guess it was a matter of one release or another?
Hmmm, sounds like cheating. You are to stay frustrated!!!
Sexually frustrated tsg still is
Just no more headache
Good! You will learn the whole lesson, or I will bring my thick cane with me. Choose your pain bitch!
Yes Master. Y
Your slave will stay focused and learn.
Good choice. I may bring my cane anyway, just in case I smell more cheating from your lowly slave cunt!
Yes Master. Your slaves feelings belong to You, You control them, You determine them. It is not up to her to make herself feel better, certainly not in the middle of training. You told her what to feel, and she should not have strayed from that, for any reason. She apologizes and begs Your mercy as she continues in the lesson.
Lessons within lessons within lessons. I understand that you are just learning and that this lesson may have seemed straight forward. None are. Master goes much much deeper. For in depth there is greater learning. Do not fret that you failed at the surface. You are looking deeper and perhaps you will learn something significant yet. Know this, you will never know where Master is leading until you see it in your past. And you, poor slave, chose a genius who is just starting to use his gift for sadism. Oh, lucky you!
Now, a given, forever: you are always under the mercy of Master. He does not withdraw his greatness for anything you can say or do. And yet, foolishness and disappointment must be dealt with. Master is also just. The penalty for sin is pain! Just pain mind you, but pain that corrects at the same level as your sin. Beware slave not to bring just wrath upon yourself. Fin joy in my mercy and grace. A word fr the wise, yes, even a slave.
Master, this slave does know she is blessed to be owned and taught by You. Who else coud see through all her garbage, determine what needed to be done, and actually set about to do it ? Who else would see such a screwed up mind and soul, and not only be capable of reshaping them, but to love them even as flawed as they are? she knows the cost for sinning, as she knows she must not let the fear of that cost keep her from confessions, for that would be sinning as well. she must hold nothing back, nothing may remain hidden, for all that she would hold onto belongs to You. None of it is for her to determine or control.
Getting better slave. Getting better.
Sin begets sin. And deepens your SPIRITUAL pain. No physical punishment compares to hiding anything from Master. Your torn up body can heal. Your soul cannot. Always confess and find joy in your beatings. For a beating is a small price to pay to be totally known, accepted, protected and loved.
And some tweets:
@SirSteve44 Poor slave girl. she knows not for what she begs. Now she will feel the torture of her poor slave soul. Good lessons are expensve!
This Slave Girl
@ThisSlaveGirl @SirSteve44 she would wish she’d just kept her mouth shut, but that would be holding back, and that is something she must never do. For that would be to not give Master what is His, and would that not be stealing? Another sin tsg can do without.
@SirSteve44 Master does not do things half-assed. If His slave needs a lesson, He takes her whole ass so that she may learn all she needs.
@SirSteve44 Plans within plans. Lessons within lessons. Master trains at levels not understood by slave. As she learns, she finds she has just begun