i hate weigh ins

So, my weight last week was 214.8. ive got to lose 1 pound. ive been working out; walking early this week, then at the gym the latter half. ive been uber watchful of what i eat.

Big deal.

Yesterday morning i weighed in at 210.8. That felt awesome, but it didnt count because it wasnt official weigh in day. And that was ok because if i lose 4 pounds overnight or even in a week, im probably NOT going to lose ANY the next week, no matter what i do. my own history has shown that. Inches maybe, probably even…but that also doesnt count. The scale is what matters.

Last night i got on the scale, just out of curiosity. 213.8. And thats fine…but it doesnt count. Still not official. What will i weigh later today or tomorrow when “official” happens? If its 213.8 or less, yay but i wont feel like its due to anything ive done as much as just dumb luck i got to step on the scale at the right time. And if its more? BAD GIRL status for a week, with all the unpleasantness that comes with it. Wont matter that i did everything right. Wont matter that my clothes are falling off, that i lost another size. Wont matter that yesterday was 210. It just wont matter.

And knowing that it wont matter … stinks.

Disappointing Him. Getting lectured. Getting a bad girl spanking. No cumming for a week. Last time added in writing lines. Trying so hard to not let all that color my mood… always there under the surface. Always fighting it down. Get over it. Buck up. Just eat less move more, you’ll lose.

Maybe. Maybe not.

What say you, Sadistic Scale?

Eating too much or being a sloth…Bad Girl
Eating right, exercise….Bad Girl…or if lucky, Good Girl.
i dont feel like im part of the process.

Ok. Melt down allotted time over. Breakfast (oatmeal, banana) then gym.

Big Deal.

UPDATE: i hid the scale (from myself) in the bathroom cabinet. it wont change the outcome, but its one less portion for me to stress over.

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